


The Chore Wheel

by bwblack



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Gen, House Cleaning, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-04
Updated: 2013-07-04
Packaged: 2017-12-17 15:57:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/869323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bwblack/pseuds/bwblack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mrs. Hudson confronts Sherlock and John about the condition of their kitchen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Chore Wheel

**Author's Note:**

> For JWP 2013 Prompt #2: From A to Z: Use at least two of the following words: abdicate, automaton, allele, Zarathustra, zither.

"Honestly, boys, I can't even fathom how you manage to live in this squalor!" Mrs. Hudson shouted over the piles of dirty dishes and lab equipment that covered every surface in the kitchen.

"Respiration is not inhibited by clutter." Sherlock answered. "Living is natural byproduct of unimpeded respiration."

"Right? Good to know. Now that we've worked that out maybe it is time you do a bit of tidying up?" Mrs. Hudson asked, hopefully.

"Sherlock has stopped participating in all household chores." John sighed.

"I abdicated the responsibility of menial repetitive tasks, so that I could more fully focus on my work."

"You've what?"

"He's stopped cleaning." John translated.

"And you've let him?"

"I tried refusing his abdication, but he referred me to Mycroft. The last time Mycroft intervened in one of our arguments I got a 12 page treatise on...."

"So you're not doing anything about it?! You will attract vermin!"

"That is a distinct possibility, yes." John nodded.

"Already? Brilliant. They make such good test subjects! I'll need traps...." Sherlock sprang from his chair, sprinted to the kitchen, and dropped to his hands and knees."

"What is he doing?" Mrs. Hudson asked, perplexed.

"Tracking the vermin, obviously." Sherlock responded. 

"Lovely." Mrs. Hudson sighed. "No clean cups for tea and now he's adopting mice. They'll take over the whole building. John, you're the sensible one. Do something."

"I cleaned up last time, and the time before that, and the time before that one. It is Sherlock's turn. It is past Sherlock's turn."

"If it is past my turn, then clearly it's your turn again, John." Sherlock called out.

"No, not this time."

"But it works for us." Sherlock offered.

"My getting frustrated and cleaning up after you, works for us?" 

"Obviously! It is our pattern, John." 

"It is our pattern? It is more than a pattern! It is an eternal recurrence of the same!" John ranted

"Thus Spoke Zarathustra," Sherlock smirked. 

"Zarathustra? I think my Ernie won a fiver on him at the Irish Derby. He was a fine horse, a real stayer... He didn't clean much either, Ernie.".

"John, I think I've found it! A dropping... or... it could be a seed..."

"You could taste it," John snorted..

"No! One or both of you must clean." Mrs. Hudson ordered. 

"It's fine." John said with a very slight smile. 

"It is anything but..." 

"I need a test tube!" Sherlock shouted.. 

"They are all dirty." John responded. "If you want one you will have to clean one..."

Sherlock sighed heavily. "Fine. You win. For science." 

"The bagel worked," John winked. "I think we might have a new pattern."


End file.
